


LOVE, LOSS and AMAZING DEALS

by melody_moon



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crack, Gen, IKEA, IKEA Furniture, NOOOO INCEST, No thank you, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil is father, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, but he gives it all up for phil, dan howell is immortal, let this be what im remembered for, liek if yuu crie evrytiem, maybe one day - Freeform, sadly no sister daniel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:30:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6577723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melody_moon/pseuds/melody_moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where beauty is in the eye of the beholder Dan howells must become the most beautiful thing in the world</p><p>Ikea's employee</p><p>Join Dan, Phil and many more lovable characters in </p><p>LOVE, LOSE AND AMAZING DEALS!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	LOVE, LOSS and AMAZING DEALS

**Author's Note:**

> I literally came up with and wrote this in 30 mins 
> 
> This is actual written comedy genius and all must see this glorious golden crack.

Dan could no longer tell if it had been days, months or years. He crawled upon the cold floors looking for anyone who could help him. Water was what he needed but in this Ikea it seemed that there was only ever furniture. So much furniture...Dan could feel his body go through a metamorphosis his, 'black-as-souls' skinny jeans turned into tan kahkis and his eclipse shirt had turned into a plain blue tee that was reminiscent of the ikea employee he saw what felt like decades ago. He felt his body rejuvenate as he stood up and he knew then and there that he would never be the same Dan Howell as when he entered.

Dan was a little peeved that Phil hadn't tried to call him yet. Sure he was an immortal being who lured people to their doom much like a siren but he deserved a bloody chat once in a while! He roamed the empty isles, his brown, dark chocolate locks of love wooshed in his face when the building started to shake! In the far distance he could hear the scream of distant people as the roof crumbled to the ground. He raised his arms up to the sky as the first time in what feel like a millennia he felt the sunshine on his lily white pale skin. Dan smiled and closed his eyes.

He awoke to phil eating his cereal and he was never happier to see such a sight. Dan embraced Phil in a deep hug as Phil's eyes shone with pride.

"I can tell you have been through a lot my son, you shall be needing me no more." Phil said, as he picked up his brief case and put on his tan leather jacket that reminded Dan of the wretched kahkis.

"Phil no! What shall I do without?" Dan shouted with emotions in his heart.

"Your dreams, and don't call me Phil. Call me father." Phil smiled as he put on his hella cool matching tan reporters hat and stepped outside the door. Never once looking back at the son he had gained and simultaneously lost.

Dan nodded and on this day knew exactly what he would do. In order to get his dad back.

He must shut down every and all ikea

He must free the world.

He must free them all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this please donate so Dan can see his long lost father once again.


End file.
